原来

原来，一直以来，我对教会的认知是错误的。。
原来，一间教会的成功以否，取之于教会是否有钱；
原来，一间教会的恩膏，取之于教会是否有钱；
原来，一间教会的复兴，取之于教会是否有钱；
原来，一间教会要影响世界，取之于教会是否有钱；
原来，一间教会的良好人际关系，取之于教会是否有钱；
原来，一间教会，跟一间夜总店没有分别，
成功以否取之于是否有钱。

真的。。我知错了。。我太无知了。。
说了这般话，心觉得轻松了点，
就算我下地狱，我也无愧。
反正像我这样的恶人 ，也上不了天堂。。
啊，那是死后的事，还没死，管他天堂地狱的。。

反正，钱本来就是万恶之根，
有钱不是万能，但没有钱真的是万万不能！
俗语说：“有钱使得鬼推磨”！！

Nice Quote

"Dare you take a leap of faith? 

Or become an old man,

 filled with regret, 

waiting to die alone?"

Saito, Inception (2010)

勇气去了哪儿？？？

我。。。

跌倒了不上下十几次。。。

从新站回起来也不上下几次。。。

但这次的倒。。。

却是跌的最伤的。。。

现在的我。。。

连从新站起来的勇气都没了。。。

对生活失去了盼望。。。

永远就是那个失败者。。。

别看我很强似的。。。

其实那都是装出来的。。。

真实的我可算是所有人当中。。。

最最最最最最最最最最最最

                 “弱”

的那位。。。

现在上课对我来说是个压力。。。

我根本就不想再去上课了。。。

进到班里。。。

就有那无形的压力。。。

因为我是个失败的学生。。。

叫我不要在意他人的眼光？？

对我来说。。

不是一件那么容易的事。。。

我压根底就是不想再去上课。。。

现在罢了咯。。。

没得考试。。。

家人知道了。。

说他们不伤心。。。

那是天大的谎话。。。




看来。。

还是算了吧。。。

Fact

I tend to write this post after i saw a FB post,

is from one the brother in our PLACE,

There is a FACT that no one can deny

when a place grows bigger,

it is hard to control/care the outer ring,

especially those who are not in popular/leng zai leng lui group.

When this people are left unentertain by others,

and while others are so happily loving each others without their present,

they tend to leave the place easily.

For easier understanding,

take it as the MOLECULE MODEL below.

In the study of Chemistry,

the electron (small black dot) which are at the nearest ring

to the nucleus (green circle) will have the strongest bond,

compare to those electron which are at the outer ring.

The more the ring extend outwards,

the weaker the bond gets,

and is easily break by mere force.

Same principle applies to a PLACE,

when a place is getting bigger,

those who are not in POPULAR group,

they are just like the pity electron at the outer ring,

when they were attack by PROBLEMS,

they tend to leave the place easily,

because of the weak bond between them and the others.


To be honest,

I'm one of the weak bonded electron.

=D
Cheers~

Someone There

I need someone there,

which can tell me,

that I'm still worthy,

to be the ARMY OF GOD...

right now..

I felt just like a JARHEAD DROPOUT..

o0o

In the end,

I'm just another asshole,

out of 6.91 billion world population...


not feeling proud of it...

如果一切可以从来

如果一切可以从来，

我宁可不想拿这个课程，

走到不想走了；

如果一切可以从来，

我会选择在SPM多加努力，

拿好一点的成绩；

如果一切可以从来，

我会选择去PLKN，

不要像现在，

半天吊；

如果一切可以从来，

我宁可做回一个普通人，

什么事都不用理，

安稳的过活，

没有压力；

如果一切可以从来，

我宁可不想爱上她，

想不到暗恋一个人，

是那么的痛苦的，

爱到自己完全不自在，

每当看到她身旁的男生对她有说有笑时，

我会火大，

更何况，

那些人竟然是我的好兄弟；

我知道，

这是因为我不成熟。

如果一切可以从来，

但，

这都只是“如果”。

噩梦。。

今日凌晨，竟然做了个我无法忘记的噩梦。。

梦到我被人困着。。

我想喊出耶稣的名字，

但，每当我要出声时，

就是喊不出来。。

尽全力一喊，

竟然喊到了现实世界！！

很大声！！家人都醒了！！

但，我不明白为何会作这个梦。。

怎么办?????

好迷失。。

爱她。。

喜欢她。。

但，我尊重她。。

因为，

对我们俩来说，

都还不是时候。。

双方都还在读着书。。

她，还有许多的羊群需要照顾。。

但， 被人说到这么大了。。

小火都变大火了。。

大火随时会烧到人。。

只怕烧伤了她。。

需要灭火。。

但，怎么办？？？

ToT

超想扁他

正在学院电脑室上着网，
旁边的男生竟然一直对他女友‘毛手毛脚’，
对她摸上摸下。。。


实在顶不顺。。。
正想海扁他。。。

grrr....

“小强”

“小强”

恶心，
却死不了。。

DeCiSiOn

几个月了，
已经听不到了；
已经看不到了；
已经感觉不到了；

我心已决；
我心已绝；

我决定了：
要离开了。。。

EMO!!!!! AGAIN!!!!

Why!!!! WHY ALL THIS HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN!!!!

in 24hours time, my hearst totally breaks!!!
2 big news that kills me through!!!!!

just fail my subject is already big for me!!!
now my dad's car got stolen again!!!!
AGAIN!!!
GOT STOLEN AGAIN!!!

how am i suppose to tell my parent that i fail AGAIN!!!

HaRrr??!??!?

what should i do now!!!!!
i'm TOTALLY LOST!!!
INSANE & OUT-OF-CONTROL!!!!!

i really need some space to COOLDOWN!!!!!

ToT ToT ToT

Big Wind Blow

Today, CYC had once again "Big Wind Blow",
member had been swap from here to there;
& from there to here,
it is an idea to let all CYC's CG had a uniform & healthy growth.

Basically, everyone is divided into 2 team with proper balancing,
between YWA, 3rdtiory & 2ndary.
As such, i was divided into Lake Wind's team,

well, as expected.

Lake Wind once again let us see the vision,
'how we would win 2k souls',
looks impossible?
But is possible.

As such, David came to me,
speaking that i will be 'migrate' to CK's CG,
normal people would had expression like this:
"WHY!! WHY ME!? I SO MISS MY FAMILY MEMBER!!"
*very shocking + sad face*

But guess What?

I'm the abnormal person.. >.<

No shock, no sad.
Why?
As such, I already had the feeling that something like this will happen,
perhaps during yesterday?

Well, after goes around in Pei Jing, Phua, Tian's CG,
I'm all the way back to CK's CG again...
What a trip!! ^^

What goes around, comes around...
LOLx??

21 guns(Green Day feat the cast of AI ver.)

personally i like the original version..

but this version got it own unique style too!!

enjoy it!!

病？

染上了“上网/Facebook上瘾”。。

-

一天没上网。。

-

会死的感觉。。

-

请问有药医吗？

Happy err... CNY?!◘○◙

greats... having this CNY like a mole...

sleeps in the house whole days..

haizh..

Two is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls

is a nice song..
like it recently..
nice guitar playing too..

“无”

。。空虚。。




。。寂寞。。




。。难耐。。





“无”

Miserable...T.T

this few days just get sucks and sucks..

haizh..
long didn't write post..
the first thing i said is bad word already...

feels like cant take it anymore..
somehow feels like will going berserk if things go on like this..
walls is my best partner when i feel down..
no one to share..
no body listen..

college wants my money..
parent want my study..

seems like i just fail..
keep failing those who put their trust,
their faith, their future in me..
is it what i want?
i don't know..

the path i choose to walk,
seems getting narrower and narrower..
is it "THAT'S IT"?

well..
no answer from the walls though ..




down..
down..
down..
down..